So, what am I really doing?

Hello, hello

Strange how returning to and writing this blog is a lot seeing an old friend after a long absence. At some point, one turns and says, "so what have you been up to all this time?" Of course, although these are words that can come out of anyone's mouth - they're not exactly what you mean... On the contrary what you really mean to say (and would like to say) is "Why haven't you called me?!"

I'm usually at a loss at this point because the true fact is, I haven't called you, and it's not because of any concrete reason. I can lie and say I was redecorating my bedroom, traveling the world, writing a book blah blah blah. Reality is it's just so mundane. I haven't actually been doing anything special - now THAT I refuse to lie about. I'm surprisingly very happy in my own company; not that I don't enjoy socializing. I'm usually an open-minded person for any kind of social event. I tend to love it once I'm doing it.

Here's a random coinciding fact: a report from BBC says that we're all much lonelier these days compared to our parents' generation. Facebook, Twitter, Texting...etc means that we're actually doing less of what matters to us. The act of meeting face to face, breaking bread with another, sharing our lives is such a rarity these days. Whatever happened to meeting up for coffee?

I'd sure as hell be lying if I said I didn't have facebook. Because well... I do. I think I'm quite lucky though because I'm not attached by any stretch of the means to that type of craze.

M.

How to be a positive person in under 300 words

I'm a pretty positive person - I consider it one of the keys to creating success, good habits, and achieving goals. I mean people don't run marathons, quit addictions, eliminate debt, or quit day jobs in favor of starting a business without a positive mindset.

Positive thinking as trite* as it seams - changes lives.

I'm not going to try to sell you on it, but if you're interested, here's a condensed guide to changing your life...

(from zenhabits)

Realize it's possible, instead of telling yourself why you can't

Become aware of your self-talk

Squash the negative thoughts like a bug

Replace them with positive thoughts

Love what you have already

Be grateful for life, your gifts, and other people

Every Day

Focus on what you have, not on what you haven't

Don't compare yourself to others

But be inspired by them

Accept criticism with grace

But ignore the naysayers

See bad things as a blessing in disguise

See failure as a stepping stone to success

Surround yourself by those who are positive

Complain less, smile more
Imaging that you're already positive

Then become that person in the next act.

Focus on this habit first, and you'll have a much easier time with any other

*TRITE [trahyt] - adjective

Lacking effectiveness or freshness because of overuse and excessive repetition. Yes, trite is a word.

M.

When Mom's Attack

"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever" - unknown

Like any human being on earth, I can attest that one of the most important people in our lives - is our mom. We're with our mothers from the very start of existence, the womb to adulthood. They stay with us forever. Not sure if I can speak for many, but I've found that mothers really are the most talented people we know (or in my case, *I know*). Mom's do it all, care for us, feed us, embarrass us, encourage us, and inspire us, but above all - LOVE US. A mother's love for her child is one that can't be matched with anyone else. You can love your car, your pet fish, or even your other half - but can we really say that we love them like our mom??

Anyway, I just thought all that schpeel would be a nice start to all this. The title on the other hand, "When Mom's Attack," does sound like a contradiction. Before coming into a brand new post I had this major flashback to the end of summer of last year. I've brought it up a few times on this blog that I decided to take a hiatus from school and work. Following my high school graduation, I had doubts about my future, and didn't have a clue of what direction I was going in. I became completely overwhelmed with all the options, and felt as if I were in a tight box that was closing in on me. With all the emotional gas that gave me, I fell into a depression. I was lost.

For a whole month, I'd wake up and just stay in bed - then fall asleep again. When I finally did get out of bed, I'd go downstairs to the kitchen hearing criticisms from my mother about what I was doing to myself, and how I was giving up a life that I had worked so hard for.

"Look at you, you're miserable,"

"This is not the life I'd imagine you having after high school,"

"How is not doing anything helping?"

- They were all rough words. I felt as though this was her method of trying to push me into something I didn't know anything about. It was no longer about what I wanted; it was what she wanted for me.

"I want what is best for you. I want you to be happy".

"But how can I be happy if you don't let me make my own decisions?!" I'd yell.

The more I was pushed - the more I resisted.

I couldn't swallow any of her words. It took me months to learn that life is in my own hands. I always told myself, you'll know when you're ready. Nine long months later - I'm ready. Those icky debates between my mother and I have sizzled since and are now long gone. If anything, now that I have full knowledge and passion of goals, she's become even more supportive.

In taking the time off that I desperately needed, the learning experience has been phenomenal. Mon Amour was always there for me to jot it all down and share it. I've realized that great things happen if you let the good in with the bad. That's probably God's way of helping us find truth and wisdom in life. After all, He does work in mysterious ways.

M.

Reading is fuel for the mind - So what are you eating?

"You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read" - Charles 'Tremendous' Jones

I am living proof this is true. Lets see... Over the past decade and four separate two year periods, life has changed GREATLY - but mainly in the books I read and people I choose to share my time and energy with.

There was a time when my nightstand held teen magazines and silly written lifestyle articles that filled my mind with junk. Surely, I'm not the only one with that experience. During those days, I wasted moments surrounded by negative people, and drama-type individuals. Those who took pleasure in gossiping and trashing others, instead or taking a good hard look at what was really important with their own lives. But time moved forward and naturally, school separated us.

In my early teenage-hood I reached a proverbial turning point when my eighth grade teacher assigned a book report on any material that we ourselves could choose. I obligingly pulled out my expired-dust-collected-library-card and immediately had it renewed. I walk over to the young adult section of my local library, slightly afraid that the shelves filled with pages of stories by legit writers would fall over me. Keeping an open mind, I reach randomly at novels all around until I find a book that would suit me. I opened the book to the first page and I quickly realized how much I had been missing. I practically flew through the entire thing and ended up getting a B+ on the dang paper.

Though years have now flown by - Part of my life has never been the same since, and for that I will always be grateful.

Reading habits changed. Social habits changed. I found something I enjoyed - my flavor if you will ;). My world started to turn and blessings poured into and through me. It's been incredible really.
Every day I have to feed my reading addiction (yes, I call it an addiction because I am literally compelled to read whatever I can get my hands on). I find books at my local retailer, second hand shops... Places where I can find inspirational and uplifting material to fill my noggin.

What you choose to watch, read, eat, and talk about molds the life you live each day. Make life the blessed adventure you deserve by filling the mind, body, and soul with only the best of the best.

M.

Make Today Delicious

Mother to Child: How was your day?

Child: Delicious!

Mother: Delicious?!

Child: Yup, delicious!

Mother: What was so delicious about it?

Child with a big grin: The sun was out so we played outside at recess, my friends laughed at my jokes, I got a hundred on my spelling test, my macaroni and cheese wasn't cold, and my strawberries weren't mushy... That's why it was delicious.

Make today delicious!

M.

A little piece of me

Hi again. Do you notice anything different? That's right, I decided to take Mon Amour head over heels and give it a completely new look. Blogger has recently put up some new templates and I decided to take advantage of them. They've got some really neat designs, and tonnes of options. A bit something and anything for the quintessential blogger.

I found that my last lay-out was a bit out dated, and I wanted to add some brightness and more personal touches to it... So here it is - The new Mon Amour!

Enough rambling. Here is a little piece of me for the month of June 2010:

I like... The sweetness that summer brings, lot's of yummy fruit and dessert recipes I'd like to try out.

I don't like... The sunburns, and uneven complexion the sun gives the human body.

I want you to know... I'm ready to step out of my hiatus and get back to the busy life.

I've planned... Little get-togethers with a few friends.

I want to say to someone special... One big THANK YOU. For inspiring the better me, and lifting my spirit when I couldn't.

M.

My current playlist

Signal Fire - Snow Patrol

Shark in the water - VV Brown

The Twist - Chubby Checker

More of you - Mozella

Things I'll never say - Avril Lavigne

Who and What Truly Matters?

from zenhabits.net

In my life I've gone through periods of driven productivity - times when everything just fell into place and all my goals just seemed to accomplish themselves. On another extreme, there have also been times when I've been completely overwhelmed, burdened by projects and responsibilities - frustrated not only because they challenged me, but they just didn't matter to me. There are days when I ask myself, how the hell did I end up here? How did I end up working on things that aren't who I am, and don't represent where I'm going?

Some things are extremely important to us, some that matter little - and some that don't matter at all. Here's a guide that may help - they discuss how to define and focus on what truly matters.

Break it down: The questions are a little deeper than we may expect, but when you take the time and patience to answer them - you might just be a bit thankful...

1. What does my life look like 10 years from now? Mentally time travel to the picture of where you want to be. This whole idea is even more apparent especially when you consider that we are after all, the product of where we came from. People, memories, and events have all shaped us into the person we are today. Similarly, looking 10 years down the road and imagining what we want helps us focus our energies today to make it happen tomorrow. If my future dreams are filled with me working hard and being successful - then that tells me that I need to focus on maintaining that diligence today.

2. What is my purpose? All of us have a mission in life. If we've determined our life's mission, it builds a foundation of where we should be spending our time. This may not be an easy one to answer because sometimes we believe that our life's purpose isn't in line with a "practical career" - but I disagree. There's no contradiction in using a career to pull ourselves from debts so we can be free for adventure etc... However there can be a disconnection because no matter how much money we make - it's not the most important to us.

3. What excites me? Sometimes we're a little scared to admit to ourselves what we really want to do, and who we really want to be because it's not popular, or it's not secure with the job that we already have. Deep down - we know what excited us. We know what gets our heart pumping, and what gets us to jump out of bed in the morning.

4. What can I let slide? There are never enough hours in a day to do everything - absolutely everything - that we have some interest in doing. There is, however, enough time in a day to do things that we are truly interested in, and that truly matters. Find what you can to let slide - then let it.

5. Do the consequences have meaning? All tasks and projects have consequences and outcomes. But the consequences, in and of themselves - don't even matter. What really matters, is what they mean to us. We fight, claw, and struggle down a path because others want us to see the rewards at the end, or simply because the reward itself sounds impressive. But if they don't mean anything to us, how can we be satisfied with what we accomplished? If something doesn't mean anything - regardless of how important it may be to others, or the impression it had made in the past - it's a sign to let it go.

Making Time: So the last questions dealt with finding out what truly matters in our lives - now the only thing to do is to make time for them. Here are some tips...

1. Do it first. Pick your three most important tasks (MITs) and do them first thing in the morning. Once you find what really matters, try taking care of it first before spending time on tasks that matter less to you. This method has been proven to significantly raise productivity in people. When you deal with your own goals in the morning before anything else, it's a nice positive start for the day and gets you line for what's next.

2. Schedule it in. Treat all the important appointments (like family) with the seriousness you would anything else in your life. It's a commitment to the future and what truly matters.

3. Treat it as an emergency. 'My life is booked back and forth with commitments - but when I had to go to the hospital to treat my appendicitis, none of my tasks got checked off for that day.' If we have trouble letting things slide, or aren't sure how to make time, then consider treating our life mission as an emergency. Let go of some important but unnecessary items off the schedule for the day. Spending each day on tasks that don't even matter are the days we can't recover - to me, that's an emergency.

We all know deep down there are different things that drive us - hobbies that excite us, passions we wish we had more time to explore, people we could spend more time with. I believe that identifying, focusing on, what matters to us isn't just an exercise.

Focusing on what truly matters, truly matters.

M.