Google: "I have everything!"
Facebook: "I know everybody!"
Internet: "Without me you're nothing!"
Electricity: "Keep talking, bitches."
Oh, you're a model? What's your agency, Instagram?
Everyone I know is in a relationship and I'm just sitting here like,
"I love food."
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
For me, multitasking means screwing up several tasks at once.
You look like I could use a drink
If swimming is so good for your figure, then how do you explain whales?!
My elbow is a whore, it bangs everything
@itsWillyFerrell
