Clearly, I have neglected this blog for what, the past few months? But when a blog is your only method of connecting with your inner-self, those few months can feel like years ha. I believe the last time I posted an entry was during winter. Well it is now spring in the city, the sun is shining, and as for the white stuff - it's quickly starting to fade. The gigantic snow pile (like uber gigantic) that's been sitting in the front of my drive way is long gone, and all that remains is a small patch of melting slush. What that means for me is that I can finally park my car in its original space AND, I won't fall on my ass the next time I try to make it to the side walk.Since the seasons changed, I've been doing a lot of uber thinking. With all this time to myself, that's basically all I do. Apart from that I'm obviously doing other little things. Take my word for it, I would name it "Living" haha. Anyways, prior to graduating school last year I made the executive decision not to continue further education and instead take a gap year. Following that time, I'll think about what I want to do. So beginning of August last year up until now I've been on 'vacation'. I'm not working, and not studying because well, that's what folks do on a vacation isn't it? More than that, it's a time when you don't have to give a damn about any form of stress, and the only thing that matters...Is You.
Now I can tell that the 'not working' thing probably alarmed you, but the reason why is because last summer I decided to leave to my job. Honestly though it was a long time coming. I was working for the same company for almost 3 years, and all those years of hard work began to look for a different opportunity. Not sure if that makes any sense, but if one thing should - when you're not happy, something has to change. Though my departure was made a positive one with the support I received from friends and family. Believe me, they really do come around when you least expect it.
Not too long ago I went out to look for another job, and now I'm just patiently waiting for a phone call. Hopefully it comes, but I don't want to get too hopeful.
Anyways, recently I finished reading a great novel titled 'Thanks for the memories' by Cecelia Ahern. The protagonist of the book, a young woman who has gone through a rough miscarriage deals with the stress through unexpected but poignant ways. As she deals with the grief of losing her first, she learns more about life but more importantly, herself. One of the things that caught my eye in reading the book was how the story mentioned this whole idea of embracing things just as they are. And when you actually take the time to just relax and think about it, you get to see just how special little things can be.
Bottom line: this vacation is just what I needed. These past months have felt like nothing I've ever felt before. Time has somewhat slowed down and things I've never bothered to notice have come up out of nowhere. It's surprisingly a bit fun. It's help my state of mind really. I'm much more healthier and oh forgot to mention happier. From now on I'll take things just as they come and go with the flow. One step at a time - day by day - and see where that leads me. I've thought hard about what I really want to do in the future, and one of those things is definitely pursue college. From what I know I'll be starting school next fall in September, and I'm not at all nervous, more excited in fact. But I don't want to think too much about the future and expect a whole lot cause that will just me a headache. I don't ever want to lose my zeal!
I get asked a lot if I ever get bored of just doing what I do. I always tell people 'never' because life is the ultimate adventure, and with that I'll never be bored. Ever.
M.
my current playlist...
Best Days by Matt White
Slide by Rosi Golan
We are man and wife by Michelle Featherstone
Apple of my eye by Ali Slaight
Look for me by Chipmunk feat. Talay Riley
Be here now by Ray Lamontagne
So here we are by Bloc Party
